I was a working mom in a demanding job for the first five years of my first born’s life. I loved my career as an Assistant Principal but it was tough keeping up with the demands of my job when my heart was at home. I eventually remarried. I left my career when I became pregnant with my third child. I was excited to be a stay at home mom. I soon realized it was easier to go to work than be at home with three young children. When I became a full-time mom, I didn’t realize how demanding a 5-year-old, 2-year-old and an infant could be. I sold my 1800 Square foot home and moved into a 900 square foot home with no garage. Not having a garage with a small home is a big deal. Where do you put everything? Babies come with a lot of stuff! Plus, I had a hoarding issue that my husband would soon come to realize. I was determined to not leave my third baby in child care so the adventure began! Leaving my amazing staff, which I had grown to love, and stepping into full-time motherhood was an adventure. From my heart, I will share with you five advantages of sending your kids to childcare and five advantages to staying home.
Benefits of a Working Mom
Personal Development: Focusing on your goals and development while someone else is focusing on your babies helps you to advance personally, as well as in your career. I enjoyed having concentrated 8 to 10 hour days at work to accomplish running an excellent education program. A huge benefit was the friendships I developed throughout my career. Relationships are developed when you are working to accomplish the same goal. I am so thankful for the people I met during my career.
Finances: I was also single the majority of my daughters’ first 5 years so I didn’t have a choice. I needed to support us. If you have a husband supporting the family your income could help with vacations, a big garage, and/or vital expenses. Your children may experience vacations that will build on their character and create beautiful memories. You may be able to afford music lessons, dance classes, hockey, and all those extracurricular activities that cost a fortune.
Growth of your child: Children become socialized and learn skills they may not have learned if they stayed home with their parents. My daughter was a manners queen! She was learning manners that I would have never thought to teach her. She also was immersed in preschool from birth until 5 years old. She was Miss Smarty Pants and she knew it! She developed friends she still talks to in her twenties. Potty training was easy because she was going potty with a group of friends in the same stage and it was a cool thing to do. I certainly couldn’t have provided that type of experience.
Time Management: I was determined to have quality time with my daughter and son when I came home from work and on weekends. I was intentional with planning quality time, events, and activities. Every minute counted!
Our own sanity: Sometimes it’s just better someone else helps raise your child due to the lack of patience or desire. An unhappy stay at home parent is not fun for babies. A parent with regrets is also usually not fun for a baby unless you can hide it. Playing blocks, changing diapers, wiping noses, and continually serving others is not everyone’s cup of tea.
Benefits of a Stay at Home Mom
Time: Having time to shop for groceries, do laundry, and exercise are big bonuses to staying home with your children. While I was working it was a mad dash through the store trying to get everything I needed before I had to pick the kids up from childcare. As a stay at home mom, shopping is often a full morning event. Having time to exercise is a great benefit to staying home! Exercising while pushing a stroller or playing on the playground is a great workout. I can do laundry throughout the week instead of spending the weekend doing laundry.
Friends: I was able to meet and spend time with other moms that I would visit with at athletic and school events when the kids were older. I was involved with MOPS, Moms Club, and Moms in Prayer. I developed beautiful relationships with women through these activities.
Witness the first steps: You are the one to teach your child their first step, their first bite of food, their first words, and the first time they dress themself. As a result of being their first teacher, you get to see the fruit of your labor. For some people, this is an extremely important joy of parenting. I have never been big on making a big deal of my child’s firsts, although it was exciting. My firstborn did most of her firsts while in child care and I was simply happy she was advancing.
Volunteer: Volunteering for your child’s school can be a big help for the teachers. I volunteer for personal reasons. I enjoy knowing who is who when my kids talk about people in their class. I also know which child obey’s the teacher and which ones are devious. Many times my advice relates to the information I found out through volunteering. The only children that I have been able to volunteer for in their class are my two youngest. My daughters are excited to see me helping in their classrooms. My daughter says it makes her feel I support her.
Freedom to help your kids: Sick days or picking up your sick child from school is a lot easier when you don’t work. Doctor appointments, taking gear to school, or a project they left at home becomes easy to accomplish when you’re a stay at home mom.
Excellent benefits in both options to work or stay home with your child. I think it all comes down to financial, personality, and desire. You may be able to afford to stay home but if you feel you lack patience or desire to grow in your career then staying home with your child is not for you. Sometimes we may have the desire to stay home but simply can’t afford it. I was in that situation and it simply didn’t matter what I desired, financially I had to work. While I stayed home I ended up working an amazing home business that bridged the financial gap. Whatever route you choose, embrace it and make the best of it!
Be Blessed and Love Those Kids!