Many couples face infertility but are left with a desire to raise a child of their own. As a mom who has adopted two children adoption is an excellent solution. There are so many children that need a parent to call their own. Many infertile parents who have adopted have shared they are thankful for their infertility. As a result of their situation, they have become parents to orphans, which would have never happened. Stepping in the gap for a child and calling them our own is the closest analogy to what God has done for us. In my youngest adopted child bedtime prayers, she asks God to help kids without parents to be adopted by good parents. Every night when I hear her pour out her heart to God, it reminds me of the immense need for people to step up and fill that void in a child’s life. I know for us we stepped up because there was a need for our little girl to have her own dad and mom. Through stepping into that gap our family has been so blessed. She has brought so much joy to our home. She fits in just like a missing puzzle piece. Many people mention how lucky she is to have our family adopt her but really we are the lucky ones to have her in our family!
Infertility can be devastating but what if it was a way to encourage us into becoming parents to an orphan. What if it was simply there to change our direction of building a family. Courtney Dye is an example of this directional change in creating a family. Here is a portion of her amazing testimony.
“My mom had 5 kids. We all had different dads. I’m the 4th born. I was placed in foster care at a very young age. I believe I was 4 the first time I went into the system. I had some great foster parents & I had some things happen in foster care that wasn’t ideal. My siblings and I were always split up because no one has room for a set of five kids. Well everyone but me and David. We’re the youngest two. In case you didn’t know its much easier to find placement for a 4 year old and a newborn. My oldest brother is 13 years older than me and finding a home for him was hard. Not because he did anything wrong but because of his age and the fact he’s a boy. Anyways, when I was 13 I went to the shelter and my little brother David stayed in our old foster home. This is the first time we had been split up but it had to happen. I was at the shelter a lot. Its where you go in between foster homes and when you first get taken from your parents and wait for placement. There was a new worker there. She was young. She already knew about me before I got there. She tried not to make it obvious but showed extra attention to me and I noticed. I had been there for 3 days when she finally asked if she could talk to me outside. We went and sat on the porch steps and she explained to me that she and her husband had been married for 7 years. They got married in high school. They started trying for a baby but couldn’t have one. So now they were looking to adopt. She wanted a baby…. Until she met me. You see, she knew my mom’s rites had just been terminated and I was placed on the adoption list. She asked if I wanted to go home with her that day? I told her I wasn’t going to call her mom because I already had one. She said it was fine. Well a week goes by and here I am calling her mom and him dad because that’s how they loved me; like a mom and dad. They made me feel safe. They told me I would never go to another foster home ever again. And then they adopted my little brother David. đŸ–¤ A couple of years after that they adopted my little (not my biological but biological to each other) brother and sister Mical & Brittany. They are amazing parents and people in general. They didn’t birth me but they’re my mom and dad. They raised me. Y’all ready to hear what Jesus did? 7 years after adopting me my mom and I END UP PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME. You read that right. My mom that had unexplained infertility adopted 4 kids because she couldn’t conceive and then wound up pregnant. You see how God works?! His plan… Not your own. I now have an 8-year-old little brother and I also have an 8-year-old son.
Courtney’s Adopted Mom
Now let’s not forget my biological mom. Just because she had 5 kids with 5 different men, cooked dope, got high, lost her kids and went to prison doesn’t mean God didn’t have a plan for her life. The same year I got adopted my bio mom got saved in prison. I didn’t know this at the time because I wasn’t allowed to contact her until I was 18. Anyhow, she found God in prison. When she got out of prison she was given $1500 from my grandparents for an apartment. Instead of doing that she got all the necessary things in order to become a faith-based sober living home for women coming out of prison or in lieu of going to prison. THE SAME JUDGE THAT TOOK MY MOMMAS RIGHTS AWAY AND SENT HER TO PRISON NOW SENTENCES WOMEN TO MY MOMS PROGRAM INSTEAD OF JAIL. My siblings and I were split up and endured some difficult things in life but in the end, over 3,000 kids in the state of Oklahoma have avoided having their mom go to prison. Plus those children ended up with a clean, sober, productive mom to come home to!! God is so good. I have such a good relationship with both of my moms. They’re both attentive grandmas and they love and respect one another for doing what the other couldn’t.
Courtney’s Bio Mom
Ps. My mom is pregnant again and due in December with another little brother, we will call Grayson.
Ps! There are children praying to God every day for a home. Consider becoming a foster parent. Be an answer to a child’s prayer. Be a place they can learn about God. Be a reason they believe.”
Courtney’s biological mom is such a beautiful example of Isaiah 61:3. God gives “beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” (New King James Version) I love the way Courtney states, “doesn’t mean God didn’t have a plan for her life.” Sometimes we forget about the biological parents due to the dysfunction. God loves them and desires for them to reach their destiny, too.
Her adopted mom is a beautiful example of altering the creation of her family due to infertility. A woman or man anticipating having their own child finds out they are barren can be devastating but God knows what He is doing. Putting the puzzle pieces together can be challenging but so satisfying when it’s complete!
What?!?! Are you really saying infertility can be a blessing? Yep, I sure am. It may be temporary or permanent but seek God in the direction He desires for you. Sometimes it may not be the correct timing for your child to grace us with his/her presence. Only God knows the reasons. Seek God for wisdom.