Behaviors often stem from a child’s view of their identity. Some children are confident and will not waiver from outside influences. Others may be easily impacted by words or thoughts that can tear their sweet spirit. As parents, we can build up or tear down our child’s identity. We have a tremendous duty to ignite the flame in our child and create growth and confidence in who they are as a person. I am going to share 5 areas I focus on to develop a strong identity in my children.
- Our children have a strong need to be loved unconditionally. It is the foundation of building a healthy identity. Our words should build our child up with love. Love through actions as well as words. Love even when you don’t want to. Help your child to understand how God loves them unconditionally. Check out my video on Unconditional Love.
- Help them to explore and develop their talents. Each child has gifts that they will use to impact the world. While my children are young I allow them to play a variety of sports, arts, music lessons, and anything else they express an interest in. As they get older the activities taper off to fit their abilities and desires. Be careful not to let their whole identity get wrapped up in their sport, music, or the arts. Their talent is only one aspect of their identity.
- Creating a mindset of positive thinking is essential to a healthy identity. A child living in a ‘half-empty cup’ world is being robbed of their true potential. Growth in identity is stunted when a child dwells on negativity. I am quick to correct my child when they see things in a negative light. This can be a weak point in certain personalities. My child that exhibits the negative mindset simply needs coaching on seeing the positive and being thankful for their blessings.
- Role model a healthy identity. Children simply learn more from our actions than our words. It is how we are wired. As parents, we need to develop a healthy identity in order to help our children to do the same. When we get on a plane, they tell us to put our oxygen mask on before our children. We need oxygen to be effective to help others get oxygen. Become the person you desire your children to model. This point has been a tremendous driver for me in becoming a parent that God can be proud of. In order for me to maintain a healthy identity, I need to study the bible, be in prayer and spend time in worship.
- Help them to understand they are royalty. The other day my youngest came to me upset because some kids were mean to her. My heart hurt for her and I hugged her and I wanted to run-up to the kids and tell them how rude they were. Instead of going with my instincts, I took on this opportunity to equip my child to endure and conquer diversity. Helping my child develop the correct mindset is more valuable than teaching the mean kids a lesson. I bent down and looked at my beautiful, innocent child in the eyes and spoke with authority. “You are a child of a God that created the world and every living thing in it. You are a princess of our almighty God! He designed every part of you in His image. God made a masterpiece when He created you. God is the one and only King and you are His princess. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! God loves and adores you. You are going to do amazing things in your lifetime. Embrace God and forgive and pray for the mean kids. Now are you going to believe those kids or are you going to embrace the truth of your existence?” After my pep talk, I gave her time to talk about her thoughts and if she was allowing negativity to seep into her mind I would counter it with a positive.
A healthy identity in your child is truly a link to peace in one’s mind. As parents providing unconditional love, encouraging them to develop their talents, and helping them to develop a positive mindset are a few areas we should focus to develop. Helping a child to understand they are royalty provides a deeper understanding of life itself. Above all, Love those kids!