My girls went on a children’s retreat and loved it! I was a chaperone, and it was the first kids’ retreat I’ve attended. They had fun games, a high energy band, a great speaker, and a genuinely caring environment. My girls walked away from the retreat with a goal they wanted to achieve to become a better person. One wanted to stop being jealous, and the other wanted to stop yelling at her sister. They decided they wanted to stop those behaviors for one month. If they could stop those behaviors for 30 days, then it would become a new habit. I suggested we should have an incentive when their challenge was over. We brainstormed possible motivators. After several ideas, I remembered the perfect incentive. The girls have wanted mermaid tails for a long time. The timing was perfect for mermaid tails, too. If they earned them it was just in time for summer.
I marked one month on the calendar. One day later, they both broke their goal. We started the end date over. Two days later they both broke their goal. We changed the end date. Now it’s been a week and they are currently sticking to their goal. I give hints to help remind the girls. When one girl gets frustrated with her sister and her face starts to turn red, I jump in and say, “Remember those mermaid tails. They are going to be so much fun playing with this summer.” She calms down and the three of us talk about her frustrations. The girls developed a sign language to remind each other.
The exciting part of this challenge is that the girls came up with the whole plan. I remembered the mermaid tails but other than that this was their strategy to make a behavior change. I sure hope we make it to a month. So far it looks like we will make it.
Rewind sixteen years ago and my two oldest were five and two years old. One was having a problem with wetting the bed and the other was having problems with potty training. I was at a lost as to how to help the bed wetter to stop. The two year old knew exactly what he was suppose to do but he was too lazy to go the the restroom. Both of them had specific ice cream cakes they loved. One wanted the princess ice cream cake and the other wanted a superhero cake! They talked about it often and it wasn’t in the budget to buy those cakes whenever we felt like eating one. I rarely use food for motivators because I don’t think it is developing a healthy relationship with food. In this case, I made an exception. They needed to be dry for 14 days to earn a cake. If they used their pants for a bathroom then I would re-start the 14 days. It took less then a month of re-starts and they finally finished the challenge. I was amazed at how the bed wetter stopped bed wetting because of a goal.
I encourage you to help your children to make some goals and incentives and watch behaviors change for the positive. Businesses use goals and incentives frequently in order to monitor and achieve success. We should be doing the same with our children. Enjoy and love those kids!